After The Storm: A Guide to Care and Compassion
Damage from Hurricane Milton and associated tornadoes in South Florida
If you know someone who has experienced a natural disaster, you may wonder how best to support them. In the aftermath of such a traumatic event, your care can make a meaningful difference in their recovery. While it’s normal to feel unsure about what to do or say, your willingness to be there for them is a critical first step.
As a therapist, I’d like to share some practical ways you can help someone navigate the difficult emotional journey after a disaster, ensuring that they feel supported and cared for during this challenging time.
1. Help Address Their Immediate Needs
In the days following a natural disaster, people often need to focus on basic survival and safety. However, the emotional weight of what they’ve gone through can be overwhelming, and your support during this time can provide them with both practical help and emotional grounding.
Offer Practical Assistance: Ask how you can help with tangible tasks—this could be running errands, helping with temporary shelter, or assisting in gathering important documents. Offering specific, actionable help like, “Would you like me to pick up some groceries?” can be more effective than a general “Let me know if you need anything.”
Create a Calm Presence: Understand that your role is not to fix their problems but to be a steady, reassuring presence. Simply being there—whether in person, by phone, or through texts—lets them know they’re not alone. Sometimes, sitting quietly together can be more comforting than trying to come up with the right words.
Encourage Small Acts of Grounding: After a disaster, anxiety and stress levels can be high. Encourage them to take small steps toward feeling grounded, like deep breathing exercises, focusing on their surroundings, or even stepping outside for fresh air.
2. Listen Without Trying to Solve
People who have survived a natural disaster often need to process their emotions, which can include grief, anger, shock, or even guilt. One of the most powerful things you can do is listen—without trying to solve or offer advice unless asked.
Let Them Lead the Conversation: Follow their lead when it comes to discussing their experience. Some may want to talk about what happened right away, while others might need more time. If they do want to talk, validate their emotions by acknowledging their feelings, e.g., “It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed,” or “This must be so hard for you.”
Avoid Minimizing Their Feelings: While you may be tempted to say something like, “At least you’re safe,” or “It could have been worse,” try to avoid these phrases. While they may come from a good place, they can unintentionally dismiss what the person is going through. Instead, focus on empathy—"I’m so sorry you're going through this"—and leave space for them to share as much or as little as they feel comfortable.
Be Patient with Emotional Reactions: Understand that emotions can fluctuate after a disaster. Someone might seem okay one day and feel overwhelmed the next. Be patient and let them know it’s normal to have a wide range of reactions over time.
3. Help Them Reestablish Routines
Disasters disrupt lives, and one of the most helpful things you can do is support your friend or loved one in regaining a sense of stability. Even small routines can help rebuild a feeling of normalcy and control.
Support Small Steps Toward Normalcy: Encourage them to return to simple, daily activities when they’re ready, such as going for a walk, preparing a meal, or attending to work or school. Routine offers comfort, and these small actions can give them a sense of progress.
Offer to Do Things Together: Ask if they’d like company for everyday tasks, such as grocery shopping, cooking, or just sitting together during a quiet activity. Sometimes having someone nearby while they get back to normal life is reassuring.
Respect Their Timeline: Understand that everyone recovers at their own pace. Some people may want to jump back into their routines quickly, while others need more time. Respect their boundaries and encourage them in ways that feel comfortable to them.
4. Provide Emotional and Psychological Support
As time goes on, the emotional and psychological effects of a natural disaster may deepen. Some people may struggle with anxiety, sadness, or even symptoms of trauma such as nightmares or flashbacks. Here’s how you can continue to support them emotionally.
Encourage Professional Help if Needed: While you can offer a lot of support as a friend, there may come a point where professional help is needed. If they’re experiencing ongoing anxiety, depression, or trauma-related symptoms, gently suggest that seeking counseling could help. You might say, “Talking to a counselor could give you extra support as you go through this.”
Stay Connected: Even after the initial crisis has passed, continue to check in with them. Recovery can be a long process, and feeling like others have forgotten or moved on can make someone feel isolated. A simple “How are you holding up?” can go a long way.
Offer to Help Them Find Resources: If they’re feeling overwhelmed, offer to help locate resources, such as counseling services, support groups, or disaster relief organizations. Sometimes people are too stressed to take the first step in finding help, and your offer can remove a barrier.
5. Encourage Self-Care
Taking care of themselves may not be top of mind for someone who has just gone through a disaster, but it’s important for their long-term well-being.
Remind Them to Take Breaks: Encourage them to rest and take breaks, even if there’s a lot of rebuilding to do. Self-care activities, such as taking a walk, listening to music, or practicing mindfulness, can help ease emotional stress.
Help Them Set Small, Achievable Goals: Recovery can feel overwhelming, especially when there’s so much to do. Help them break down tasks into smaller steps and celebrate the small wins. For example, you might suggest they focus on cleaning one room or completing one paperwork task at a time.
Be an Accountability Partner: Check in with them about self-care practices, encouraging them to take time for themselves and to pay attention to their mental health. Sometimes people just need a reminder that it’s okay to pause and care for themselves, even when they’re dealing with a disaster's aftermath.
Final Thoughts: Offering Your Care and Compassion
Supporting someone after a natural disaster is about more than just offering immediate help—it’s about being a steady presence through their emotional and psychological recovery. You don’t need to have all the answers; simply being there, offering understanding, and listening with compassion can make a significant difference.
Remember, recovery from trauma takes time, and everyone’s journey is unique. By offering your care, patience, and emotional support, you can help your friend or loved one navigate this difficult chapter with a greater sense of hope and resilience.
